To Share or Not to Share: Couples Edition

Image of couple sleeping

There are few things more important for optimal health and well-being than high quality, consistent rest. Proper sleep – for 7-8 hours a night of uninterrupted zzzz’s, reaching deep sleep – has necessary and positive benefits to mental, physical, and emotional health.

And yet… so many people do not prioritize sleep. In fact, sleep often becomes the first thing on the chopping block when a person is stressed and “too busy”. But sacrificing the quality of sleep in order to stay up late or to wake up early will likely reduce the quality of waking hours in terms of focus, happiness, and good health.

What if my partner keeps me awake at night?

Great question! An important factor to consider when it comes to sleep health is whether or not you are sleeping beside someone, and how well you sleep together. And because the importance of sleep is becoming more well understood, more and more couples are deciding to have separate beds in order to achieve proper rest each night.

The problem that many couples face, however, is that there is a stigma attached when two people in a committed relationship decide not to sleep together. 

Separate beds, we are often told, signals problems in the relationship. If you’re not sleeping together in the same bed each night, you must be on the brink of a break up. But that’s absolutely not true! Especially if one partner keeps the other partner awake throughout the night by snoring, tossing and turning, or having a different sleep schedule due to factors like shift work.

Having two separate beds might actually be the most loving act of kindness that two partners can do for each other. Keeping someone else awake throughout the night can actually spiral off into more problems, cause arguments, and make the mornings unpleasant.

Keep your options open

Having separate beds or bedrooms doesn’t mean that the two people in the relationship have to sleep separately every night. It can simply be an option for those nights that are destined to be disruptive. Maybe one person is working a week of night shifts, or many they are having a flare up of a chronic illness and know that they are going to be getting up a lot in the night. 

Instead of just sleeping on the couch, why not have two comfortable sleep spaces so that both people can rest well. Stock both with nice blankets and linens, blackout binds, and a comfortable, high quality mattress. 

Make the heart grow fonder

Sleeping apart doesn’t mean that there isn’t intimacy within the relationship. In fact, if two people are well rested and feeling good, they might be in the mood more often than usual. Plus the added separation can help a couple remember why it’s nice to be together, and help a couple keep the flame glowing bright.

Customized sleep spaces

Another benefit of having two separate sleep spaces is that each person can customize their space with the mattress, blankets, pillows, temperatures, and conditions that are conducive to deep sleep. Not everyone sleeps well under the same conditions, but having to make sacrifices can end up preventing people from not sleeping well.

We see this all the time when couples are mattress shopping: one person loves sleeping on a soft mattress while the partner needs something firmer. Is chronic back pain and body aches worth it? 

More and more, we are seeing people have two separate bedrooms and choosing to sleep apart in order to prioritize sleep health. And in fact, making this decision can have great benefits not just on the quality of sleep, but on the quality of a couple’s relationship. With each person having their own perfectly calibrated sleep environment, and each person waking up each day well rested, they are well equipped to face the day, and each other.

If you are considering setting up two bedrooms and would like to shop for mattresses in Surrey or surrounding area, we would love to help you. And no judgment! We know how important sleep health is for each and every person, whether they share a bed or not!